Tagged: Humor

Doctors' Notes About Patients

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely. She has had no rigours or shaking chills, but...


Brain Cramps

I know some of these are true, but I can’t say they all are, but, again, they’re funny. Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,...


20 Ways to Stay Sane

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise...


The Balance of Nature

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found Him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, “Where have you been?” God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction, and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look,...


New Words for the Workplace

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather...



Actual High School Student Metaphors and Analogies

Every year, English teachers from across the USA can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a...


7 Reasons Not to Mess With Children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little...


Truths Children Have Learned

No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair. If your brother hits you, don’t hit him back. They always catch the second person. Never...