Mother's Words of Advice

Someday your face will freeze like that!
What if everyone jumped off a cliff? Would you do it, too?
You’re going to put your eye out with that thing!
How many times do I have to tell you…don’t throw things in the house!
Close the door behind you — were you born in a barn?
Don’t put that in your mouth, you don’t know where it’s been.
Why? Because I said so, that’s why?
Don’t use that tone with me!
Eat those carrots, they’re good for your eyes. Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?
Did you flush?
You can be anything you want to, if you just set your mind to it.
There’s enough dirt in those ears to grow potatoes!
Be good – but if you can’t be good, be careful.
I don’t care what “everyone” is doing, I care what you are doing!
If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
I hope someday you have children just like you.
Don’t talk with your mouth full!
Always put on clean underwear in the morning, in case you’re in an accident.
Sit like a lady!
Don’t pick, it’ll get infected.
I’m not just talking to hear myself.
I’m going to give you until the count of three.
Put that down! You don’t know where it’s been!
Don’t cross your eyes or they’ll freeze that way.
If you swallow a watermelon seed, a watermelon will grow out your ears.
Men perspire, ladies glisten.