Wisdom from Will Rogers

Will Rogers, who died in a plane crash with Wylie Post in 1935, was one of the great sages of our time.  Enjoy the following:

  • Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco. 
  • Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 
  • There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman…neither works. 
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up. 
  • Always drink upstream from the herd. 
  • If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging. 
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket. 
  • There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading.  The few who learn by observation.  The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves. 
  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 
  • If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there. 
  • Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back. 
  • After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.  He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut. 


  • Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 
  • The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. 
  • Some people try to turn back their odometers.  Not me, I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way.  I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved. 
  • When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
  • You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks. 
  • I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top. 
  • One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
  • One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. 
  • Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 
  • Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
  • If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.